i need a new life!

i dnt mean to whine and moan on my blog but it's how i feel right now!

i hate alot of things that im doing right now..mainly my job!

i've been moved to my flagship center in the U.K which i thought would be a good move for me.

But i was so wrong, that center is so messed up, i've been there for just about a week and im dreading going back!

life is just long for me now!

And i feel like im not where i need to be, or where i am right now is definately not helping me with where i want to be in the future!

which boils down to the question.

WHERE THE FUCK DO I REALLY WANNA BE, OR WHAT THE FUCK DO I WANNA DO?!?!

ppl can say yeh im young....i got loadsa a time!

STOP im young but im fucking ambitious man, i wanna make something of myself!!!!!

had a convo with a dear friend, who's going outta the country for quite a bit, to do some soul searching...

this hit me, cos....

1 argh another close friend is leaving me

2 cos when i hinted or gave him the impression that i needed to do just that, he said i dnt need to soul search.....

i do......i need to know what i want, thats y i cnt move...cos i have no idea where i'll be moving to!

sorry for the rant!

but thank you for reading!

update u soon with my bloody life!

Neglected? ah well its my blog not urs!

yeh i needed abit of time for important things
but im lying here right now in my bed
covers curled under my feet.......feet still cold as a mutha fug
tupac blazin' on my bose system frm my ipod

a million things running through my head
feels like i have alot to do, but i dnt know y im lying here and not doing anything
i havent even got anything to blog about
just about my wotless doings
some whack tune is playing......erm.....y is this on my ipod?

im lacking something real bad!
but i dnt know what it is
i even called yankee.lol.booty call
no can do.lol.daym!
didnt think that was it either.


argh.
nix fix up
i need a J, yezzzzziiiiiirrrrdddd a nice fat joint.
ummm with a cup of tea!
and some Bob Marley

o yeh! HAPPY BIRTHDAY 'myworldisgoinglala'

o shoooooot i know y i feel like this now.
i have a blood test tomorrow
shitting myself!
i hate needles!
not looking foward to it at all.

ready for one sleepless night, lying in the dark, cold and thinking about needles.
argh!
i think im gonna turn the heater on tonight so that heat knocks me the fuck out!!

anyway enough stupidness frm me!
adios amigos!

p.s remember. God Is Blessing you regardless! just accept.dnt reject!

Good change? or bad change?

I know this is abit late, but i cut my hair two weeks ago! its so short!!

i want u guys' opinion........u can see how i looked like b4 frm previous photos uploaded!

yay or nay peeps?

leave comments,

i will not be offended!

note: or will i?

HAPPY FRIDAY

WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeee!!

Pls Lord, your word says 'ask and it shall be given unto you......'

can i have a husband who looks like this? please?

Thank you Lord

In Jesus' name i pray Amen

p.s i am being super serious

just a memory

'i was 9 and he was 12.

both being called into the living-room by an

angered.frustrated.alarming.high on weed.frightening.

voice.

i knew i should've shut my mouth.

i did it all the time.

he'd wind me up.

and i would scream the house dwn.

pops:(shouts@me) WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?

*i know the drill, know whats gonna happen.v.hesitant to answer*

pops:(shouts louder) WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?

*i jumped at his beaming noise.it not a voice anymore....*

nix:(sobbing)kuya hit me.

*it didn't hurt most of the time, but i was a brat.

he annoyed me.*

pops:ARE YOU HURT?

*i could've told the truth,but i never did......*

nix:yeh

(looking up @ my kuya, knowing he knew i was lying about being hurt, feeling guilty as shit, but cnt take back what i've done)

*BANG*

i watch kuyas head as it is flung back

hits the wall we were standing by

my kuya (brother) was always a soldier, even when my pops' timberland boot knocked his head on the wall

im crying next to him, feeling it for him, and he lays a hand on my shoulder tears in his eyes and apologizes to me....

this sort of thing happened on more than one occasions, my brother would take it all for me.

thats why i love his ass

whether its wrong or right

i'll take it all for him

this post is a very emotional post

i dnt even know why i've written it

but needless to say

we are

ride or die

what a wanker!

so im at work and we have this client in one of our meeting rooms,
after his meeting has ended they all come out to the front,
and im guessing, it was the C.E.O
turns to me rudely and says can we pay for the room,
so i get on the phone to my conferencing manager to let him know ppl want to pay for the room, which doesn't normally happen,
as to book a conference room u need to be a member,
anyway,
he rudely puts his hefty suitcase on my desk and asks again can i pay....
now this fat mutha fug knows im on the phone trying to contact someone who can help him,
as i dnt deal with this!!!!!!!
and his impatient asss is bugging the fuck out of me......
i finally get the conferencing manager on my line and tell him,
a gentleman (more like a rude fat man) wants to pay for his room,
my conferencing manager asks me,
what company is he frm...
so i look down and see the company name.....
pastaking.
ok,
never have i ever had any client whose name is associated with food,
so in the politest way i could i told him,
a gentleman from .....paste-taking ( u know that sounds better than pasta king!!!)
then the mutha fugger switches and screams PASTA KING!


im a about to fume!!!!
argh.....

what a dickhead...

did he have too much pasta for lunch or something!

i swear these ppl!

think their so up there when all they do is fricking trade pasta!! argh i dont know!

i just needed to vent!

im ok now

rude bastard! fricking embarassing me for no reason, like i cnt read!

CHA! im a bright intelligent young lady u know!
lol

Still in sooooooo much pain!!

i cant believe it, my whole body hurts!!!!!!! argh, story is, last week!!!! LAST WEEK thursday me and my girl decided to do a spin class at our gym, as we signed up together.lol.

so, i've been to a spin class before, when i was about 16 yrs old....and it was fine, it was fun!!!

but this time round, when i am telling you it was the hardest physical thing i've done in my life.lol....no exaggeration....sweat was dripping off me like i was in a sauna or something.....

when the warm up started me and my girl were looking at eachother, laughing, thinking what have we got ourselves into....for the first 10 mins we were just bussing up at how unfit we both were, but after that i swear we just both went silent, it was like auto-pilot, we had no energy for anything else!!!!!

like rocky we wanted it over and done with!

like stupid girls we didnt bring no water into the studio, so we were dehydrated like fcuk!

argh and now my body is just caning!!!!

i think everyone needs to experience this though! im bringing DOPE this week. hahahahaha good luck to u friend!

ciao for now

ladies never lose composure

so feeling the alesha dixon song-breathe slow, although the first time i saw and heard it on her video, i thought it was just wack, but it really depicts how she is coping with her misfortune......check it out, youtube it, cnt b bothered to post a link, even though its not too hard to, im feeling really lazy!

*nothing to do with the song*

just a shout out to a special friend!
you will remain anonymous on my blog.......but you'll know exactly who you are!
you are not a bad person
and i love u dear friend i really do!
i pray for God to take all these negative thoughts away, all the ppl in ur life that are not needed i pray God removes them frm your path towards him!
Lay it all down at the feet of Jesus, remember he knows how you feel, he knows exactly what your going through.....he's walked before you, and our Lord would never put you through something for it to end terribly......your latter will be greater!
God doesn't see you where u are now but where he sees you at the end of it all!
God loves you, he sacrificed his son so that we may have eternal life through him!
Dear friend, focus all the energy you have now, good or bad in seeking our almighty father, he wants you to turn to him, when you feel like there is no one else, then is the time where you realise there is God!

In Jesus' MIGHTY MIGHTY NAME I PRAY! WE PRAY!
AMEN

i love my dad

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

i know

i have been so rubbish with my blogs lately, i cnt even say rubbish cos i haven't been posting to b judging it rubbish.

*sigh*

im going away on monday to the P.I and i cant bloody wait, so since last week i've been sitting at home literally counting time.....feeling mega busy but im not! if i dont post b4 i leave im sure i'll come back with something absolutely spectacular to tell u guys....o yeh, did u guys know dopes coming with me?

ahhhhhh gona b bloody fantastic!

any hoe

i WILL touch u guys soon
God Bless
=D

Gooooooodmooooorniiiiiiiiiing! Good-morn-ing looooove =D

hey guys, so lots to tell,
1 this yr is gonna big, well it better be!
2 so my amazing 2 have left.....to go fili! Belvz n Bro
3 yankee was belling off my phone last night

1 so im dreaming big this year, as in no holding back, risks being made. Hello i have nothing to lose, but im claiming it now in Jesus' mighty name my 2009 will be productively fruitful!
A few business plans are laid out in my mind, it's just about stepping out on them now! And i pray i keep focused, on one main thing.....through it all G.O.D is my C.E.O!!!

2 my bro left last monday and my belvz.lol....my belvz u kno....left monday just past! im ok, im use to my bro not living with me so it's not that bad, but belvz, whoa......the amount of times i call her number nowadays makes me realise it's like second nature to me, i just pick up my fone n hit call twice n her numbers there......even when she was around i'd call her to say, Hi Belvz....she'll say whattagwan.lol.....i'll say nuttin, n she'll say same and we lock off!
i miss her! belvz is DGIMA btw. =D

3 yeh he was bugging off my fone, while i was at work, i deleted his number but cos he has so many 1111111 in it, i can recognise it. felt abit eurgh again about it and wanted so bad to speak 2 belvs about it but shes not here....and for some reason unreachable too.....biatch call me already!
anyway he called really late on unknown and i was half asleep, dumb girl picks up, n im like fuck not this bullshit again, and he was talking to me like i was all good with him, i dnt know y i didnt put the fone down, i guess i just wanted to know what he had to say, surprisingly we had a good talk, nothing to do about us, just things we'd normally talk about on a nice quiet saturday evening, while watching a film, sitting on his nice big suede couch....snuggled up.......NIX shut the fuck up man, he aint no good!

lol here i go again.........nah flying solo in that department until i find someone who loves God more than me! Thats my perfect candidate!

toodles for now man......wotless blog entry but i felt like i was neglecting!

AND AGAIN a very very BLESSED new year to your guys!

leaving u with pix frm nye!

me and my beautiful cousins!

check silly string on my toe.lol

n my shoes r off u know i was mash up!

its a new season, coming to me!

'its a new season, its a new day, fresh anoninting, is coming my way.....
its a season of power and prosperity, its a new season coming to ME!!'

Sing with me...=D

Happy New Year blog fam
x

'promises u made, coming back to haunt you....'

at the underground bullshit

NS*nix*DOPE

GANGSTAHZ

ME.lol who said i was on blogspot to look pretty, do i get props or what for my outfit.....flava flave,stevie wonder, gangstress gone wrong.lol

shameless, but i hope i made u smile....

*right for sum reason i wasnt able to upload vid, i left it uploading all daym night.......i think its too big, any1 know how i can make it a smaller file?*

and the vid we decided to take with our newly found personas!

have i got integrity or what?

a whole loada stuffz

wasss going on blog world! im at the office this morning, how crap is that, i thought i'd blog, but i dnt really wanna bore you with what went dwn cos we all know its just the usual chit chat eerrrrbody b talking about, and we listen politely.....

anyhoe.....

i got some vidz to post, they are too funny, saturday me and 2 of my girls were watching hip hop honours on mtv....and yes we started getting in the mood for some gansgter shit rapping, believe we turned my room around looking for clothing and accesories to look the part.....

will put up our one wen i get home. but to keep u entertained...check out our inspiration above.lol

we looked so gangster we HAD to do a hip hop vid, except we sorta lost the plot once recording!

*i will post vids later. promise!

hahahaha some funny shit still!

same day....later on in the night at about 1am my girl dope.......was forced to come to my yard so we can hit some local place....

*and it wasn't until a number of phonecalls and researching did we find this local venue* lol.....dope can comment on that 1!

anyway so we reach and we look around...shit this is some underground shit......

and remebering we reached somewaht after 1am! SCAREY i'd say! part of my ends r like overely ghetto! west london or not!

still its a tenner to get in.....i aint a cheapo....well i am, but i mean its a tenner to get into traffic *sum club in holborn* and that place is live!!!!

o my when we walked in, me and NS *my other girl* turned str8 to dope and gave her the look, ima kill u in a min!

this place was more than underground......yoyos in Notting hill was underground!!

the whole night we stayed in the corner drinking our cosmos, and shacking it out cos i must admit the music was LIIIIIIIVVVVVEEEEE!

*i'll insert a pic here*

i also bumped into a friend at the end of the night, who i see everywhere! i think he kinda cute.

lol me and my girls were outside, and i wass like thats my cousin...and i walk over to him.lol....dope and NS r watching me converse........and i know there both thinking, her cousin??? im sure i c a black man she's talking to.lol....hahahahaha will explain how i know him.....adrian *my black cousin*

HAHA

=D

on a last note, my brother....if you've been reading my blog, is GOOD and WELL!

PRAISE THE LORD!

*also thank you to u guys who prayed with me in spirit!*

well enough to go back home to the islands!! which he will do today, his flight is at 2pm....im gona miss him sooooo much, but im gonna c him again in 2/3 weeks cos im off there soooooooooon! cnt w8, massive family affair out there!! as in the WHOLE clang!!!!

dope u still coming bitch?

c ya

x

the sweetest name in the books *JESUS*

my bad not only the books, sweetest name full stop.
this morning i read my word for you today hit the link up on DGIMA its on one of her post, and while your there stay for a while...educate urself =D
anyhow i was on the UCB website and i clicked on a link under *why Jesus?*
i read it and i mean i've been a Born Again Christian for around 8yrs now, but reading that link, a few simple words made me fall so deeply in love again for the 1millionth time!

to whoever is reading this right now, i have no idea how your seeing this post, whether you are judging me because of my previous posts(antics) but not excusing myself but no one who has walked this earth is perfect apart from Jesus! Only by Gods grace and mercy do i wake up every morning knowing that im so loved, regardless of my wordly actions.

you know i've tried so hard to bring people to Jesus, family, friends and yes sometimes strangers hehe. But i dont get very far simply because how could i lead anyone to a destination that i have not reached?

dnt get it twisted though, i am 'highly capable' said my bestfriend the other night *thank you, i love u*

leaving that at that, i would like for you guys to read these lyrics or search the song on utube, cos i dnt know how to link a song/vid..eeeek! *furthermore get the album - the fight of my life*

The Last Jesus :
I see you, I need you, but I don't know your name
I touch you, say I love you, but that's all you get for today
It's easy, so easy, to tell you it's gon be okay
When I don't walk in ur shoes, haven't been through what you been through
Instead I push you away
Sunday everyone looks like you
But if our lives are cold inside tell me what's the use

If I say I love Jesus, but you can't see my Jesus
My words are empty, if they can't see Jesus in me
No more excuses, I give myself away
Because I may be the only Jesus they see

Too busy, forgive me, I've got problems of my own
It's easier to say your help is on the way
But I was your help all along
We're shouting, we're dancing, but can the world see a change
Am I just too selfish to see, the love they need You put inside of me

If we say we love Jesus, but they can't see our Jesus
Tell me what's the use if they can't see Jesus in you and me
No more excuses, we give it all away
Because we may be the only Jesus they see

If I am Your hands and Your feet, and if Your church is built inside of me
Where did we go wrong, we been here too long, we can't see Your face anymore
It's not the same anymore

Have mercy on us Jesus, please forgive us Jesus
I lost my purpose, if they can't see You in me
See I lied too long, and I change it all today
Because I may be, because I may be
The only Jesus they see, the only Jesus they see, the only Jesus they see

super blessed this morning, and the Holy Spirit wanted me to share my blessing with YOU!

Peace!

all 2gether now...'Nikki LOVEZ heelz!'

*add*

*ict*

*ion*

hahaha u know what im at home now, after a long day, and what better thing to do than to go through my heels and walk around feeling sexy.lol.....than i had a brilliant idea, y dnt we take some piccies and post them.......wasn't really feeling to put 'em all on and take a pic individually, but yeh.....

im bored now. lol. and im really annoyed cause im missing a few more heels.......and i just dont know where to find them, they can be in so many places.lol....(my girls' houses)

anyhow, im always on sites where i find a perfect looking pair of shoes, i stare hard, and want them so bad, i imagine how it would look with my diff outfits and how they'd make me feel, and how the girls would 'ooooh' and 'aaaahhhh' occasionally the boys too.lol....

then i think long enough *1 sec* imma buy these babies.....just to b so frickin dissappointed.....Y??

not cause they dont have my size

the price

or the colour

but to see that im on U.S

site and they dnt ship to where i bloody live.

frustrating huh!

after i've just about fallen in love with them.

and i would post the shoe.....well shoes that i cnt have,

but im not feeling to cry right about now.

HAHAHAHAHA!

i'd say......

ermmmmm....

it may b....

an

ADDICTION.

definately.

catch ya later

p.s a bit pointless i know.

as promised <>

so as i promised frm my previous post, the story about mummies birthday present.
so dec 6, im at home frm about 10 am....a little hungover and since no1 was in i sleep till about 3pm.
walk around the house and no1 is home, and im like...yeh im going out later but really, is it right ive spent half of my birthday on my own....sleeping.
i call mummy....

nix:ma where r u
ma:shopping y?
nix:what time will u b home, u know its my birthday...
ma:soon, we're just picking up the tree.

im kool with this cos i know theres no tree and i know shes out buying me something spectacular, u c kidz, my mum is different....no 'thanks alot' kinda presents frm her, its always a 'wow' i bloody wanted this but didnt even think of it to avoid disappointment!
any how they get home.....and get this her and her bf are dragging a tree.....daym she wernt lying....so i go to my room cos im so lazy and its my birthday and i didnt wanna fix that shit up.

then mum screams nix come here u got some pressies.....
i come out 2 the living room like an excied child and i c 3 boxes wrapped up. in front of mum, mums bf, my bro, and my lil cuz i open the first 1 ive been told to, its from my cousin and she got me some cup, cute cup that when u put water in the nose goes red...she was more excited then i was.lol
anyhow i go for the smaller box now, and mum interupts and says open the big box first, so im like ok, i open it and its pjs.....*drop dead grumpy...gorgeous crossed out.lol*
kool, im happy cos theres still that lil jewerelly shaped box. hehe by now got the fattest smile on my face......and all eyes are on me with this big grin right, so i open it, its in a leather box......black leather box, no signiture colours or labels, so already my ear to ear smile goes frm nostral to nostral.lol....(i think thats how u spell it)
still smiling, but with bait disappointment.
i open it, looking down at the most unexciting jade bracelet charm thingy.....im red i can feel it......my smile has GONE! and i can still feel all eyes on me, i look up and so happened to b my mums bf i c 1st, click.....he got a snap shot. i look at mum, 'thanks ma' she looks upset and im shitting myself i duno how to looks more happy........and i know these ppl are thinking what a spoilt ungrateful bitch! my bro comes up to me and nudges me put it on. its nice. mum asks me dont u like it.
im fricking speechless.guys it was SO SO SO SO BAD!
anyway about 5mins of speechlessness....we all start decorating. i keep throwing comments at mum about how its nice, but does it fit right etc....tryna justify my puzzled face when opened init.*nix man its a bracelet not a pair of jeans*

anyway mum wants to c wot im wearing tonight so shes asks me to do an outfit change....
so i got to my room, clutching my friggin gifts, and on my bed i c 1 hench box wrapped up. im like, fuck, no way......i pick it up and go to the living room. and sit dwn, and say guys......with a curious cheeky smile.
its big...and its heavy, and im like wtf can this b, i really cnt live no more if its 1 of those horrific incidents half hour ago. but i look at mum and she says open it.....so i open it, and its a laptop. =D
IVE WANTED ONE FOR AGES. AND THEY GOT ME 1!
do u know how bad i felt. i kept saying i dnt deserve this, not bcos i thought i was a bad daughter, but bcos of my spoilt bratness.

lol. i need to learn how to not expect so much huh.......

turned out alryt in the end tho......

daym losers always gotta play tricks!

anyway i need me some kipp,

nitey kidz

Super Lazy

hmmmm, so what have you missed???? u know what, ive just been so demotivated to get on a pc and blog, seriously, life is just dragging for me right now.

my daily routine

1. wake up at 6/7 am (depending on shift)
2. get ready
3. outta the house by 7/8am (depending again on shift)
4. get to work
5. work
6. finish at 5/6pm (depending on shift)
7. go home....get home
8. jam for a bit....(meaning stay in work clothes, mac and all...) *not trampish.just friggin tired*
9. eat
10. cook 4 fam(mum,her bf, bro) *y me, the youngest...so not my responsibilty*
11. sleep

okay doesn't sound to bad, but EVERY FUCKING DAY!

argh, im so relocating soon.

apart frm that, it was my birthday weekend just past, wohoooo 21 now but i feel like im 31!

fri night went to some club called Embassy with the girls, had a good night, never been there b4, the crowd was DEFF-RENTTT!!

poshies all over the place, and i think im saying this on behalf of all my girlies, we were certainly a breath of fresh air in there.

sat night we hit our usual spot, arch angel which was banging as usual....music good! atmosphere good! company good! it just felt good to be able to spend my night somewhere im familiar with!

will def get some fotos up, when i get them.

o yeh and i got some really really nice pressies!!!

mummy got me a........let that b my nx post actually.hehe

ugg boots,luella bag,laptop,jade bracelet,pjs,heater(trust me we need it in my room),MAC eyelash curler,perfume,swarovski earrings....

dnt think there was anything else but my bad if there was, and honestly wasn't expecting anything, cos im old mayn.=D

passing my birthday now, argh......im upset, i really am.

so you guys all know yankee if you've been reading my blog, well something i didnt even get to tell you guys was that yeh i broke up with him by txt, about summer 08, and like i really didnt hear frm him, yeh i was frikin heartless but i mean at least try...so much for 'cant say i didnt try'

argh wotever, anyway in the first post i wrote about him.....it started with me listening to my vmail on the fone i lost right?? well yeh he called and he left a msg, and i got in contact with him again. frm then lets say frm about oct 08 we'd been exchanging calls, you know finding out and just generally catching up. we finally met again....mid nov!!! when i say this guy still looked at me like i was shitting gold!!!! anyway so i stayed round, we spoke, we chilled, and frm what we discussed that night and previously he wasn't seeing anyone, but he was all good with his babymother. kool, you know so what went dwn went dwn....thinking about it now......daym, but lets NOT!

anyway last time i saw him was my birthday, fri night, and like yeh, it was my birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIX! more like happy birthday YANKEE! anyway next morning i just felt wrong, so wrong and as usual i grabbed all my stuff......which was ALL over the place, anyway made sure not to leave anything. 3 days kater he calls me

yankee:hey baby, you know you got me in trouble

nix:huh how? *puzzled* but thinking maybe his backs broke*

yankee:yeh my babymother found your gold cardigan you were wearing the other day

nix thinking*excuse me?? y she at ur place going through ur shit, and more importantly y is she tripping?? (duno british term of tripping.lol.daym im so begging.lol)

nix:yanx that gold cardigan aint mine, i dont own a gold cardigan...

yankee starts shooting me with alibi's by now cos the way i dropped that line he knew he messed up, not only messed up but got caught!

i locked him off!

wank-ah.......fuckin wank-ah!

but im upset, at least i know now huh. =(

i spilled my guts out to u guys....i feel a lil better now.

so off to where now? i was thingking Australia or Canada.

p.s and not bcos of the last bit i wrote about.....more cos of the begining of the post.but yankees stunt was the last straw.

something thats been going thru my mind lately

sorry i haven't touched my blog in so long
when i tell you BUSY is not even the word to justify!

anyhow, i have a younger boy cousin, he's 17 i think or 18, anyway i have mad love for him, he's actually not my blood cousin, his mum is married *kinda* to my uncle. but i've known my cousin since he was lil.....therefore regardless of whatever anyone says or feels or hears..HE IS MY COUSIN! we'll call him 'H'

anyway we know we have eachothers backs however far will live frm eachother and however not so often we see eachother.
lately we've been chatting, now he's the kinda kid who keeps himself to himself, wears dark clothing and always has his head dwn, so when we do speak u know i really wana get in there and see y this kid is so dark! he's been opening up, alot but not enough, i think he doesn't realise that i know much more than he thinks. getting to thep oint of this blog....the other day we were chatting about nightmares, cos he posted one note on facebook, of a nightmare he had, and 'betcha by golly wow' was it disturbing. no exaggeration.

got me thinking about my experiences..
now u can believe what im gonna tell u, or u can think rah this girls nutz!
whichever u choose......i dnt care
if u believe me thank u
if u dnt, hope ur shit scared! *not really* but woteva

....it was a late summer night, and i had just spent the last two hours awake on the phone to a friend....it was 2am and i had work the next day so i had to sleep.
as soon as i got off the phone, i felt i was about to dose off but felt bad vibes in my room, but my eyes could no longer take it and i nod off, half asleep i can hear something shuffling in my room.but my sleepiness is still fighting me, in the space of 3 seconds i feel something/someone on my bed, has gotten on top of me sat on my chest *not a heavy thing* and giving me blows to my head, when im telling you, my head was swinging frm side to side! and i knew fuck its them.....i've always been told when in trouble call on the name Jesus, best believe that name in itself is POWERFUL!
i call...Jesus, i call...Jesus, this thing is still beating the shit outta my face! i think u know, this thing wnt listen or get off with my weak voice no faith screaming Jesus, so with one last authoratative voice i demand get off me in Jesus mighty name! ah finally, it gets off me, im lying there on my bed in shock, i feel it climb off my bed...too scared to look str8 at it, i look at its shadow on my drawers, i see a short thing with messy curly hair.....abit straw like....as it walks it grows in height to about 3/4 of the height of my room. im looking at it now, tall, slim, in a long black cloak like mac, curly long bad weave like hair and its face was a face of a pig. it was looking in my mirror, putting a belt around its neck as a scarf, i blink and its gone!
i sit up, my head is banging, and im shaking with fear.

that night i called my mum to sleep with me....
i've been attacked a few times b4 but never like that.
......and i always wake up in mid action.

got a headache now.

cheerio kidz

i'll say it loud and proud. i love jojo =D

One two three four
Huh hhhhmmmmm ohhh
I think I could like you
I Already do
Feelings can grow but
They can go away too
You're taking my hand
Looking into my eyes
Don't be in a rush to
get me tonight
I feel something happening
Could this be a spark?
To satisfy me baby
Got to satisfy my heart
(Chorus)
Do you know how to touch a girl?
If you want me so much First I have to know
Are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what's on my mind?
Or am I just for show?
You'll go far in this world
If you know how to touch a girl

I think I could like you
But I keep holding back
Cause I can't seem to tell
If you're fiction or fact
Show me you can laugh
Show me you can cry
Show me who you really are
Deep down inside
Do you feel something happening
Could this be for real?
I don't know right now
But tonight will reveal
(Chorus)
Do you know how to touch a girl?
If you want me so much
First I have to know
Are you thoughtful and kind?
Do you care what's on my mind?
Or am I just for show?
You'll go far in this world
If you know how to touch a girl

Bring me some flowers
Conversations for hours
To see if we really connect
And baby if we do ohhhh
I'll be giving all my love to you